Dear Sami, I'm workin on an album that's beyond me
Picking through my dirty laundry looking for some honesty
So here it is, sorry that I waited all these years
To come kinda face to face to tell you something serious
I'm no good at big brotherhood apparently
Back when we were kids I was dumb prone to tyranny
you look up to me, but I just saw a parody
Hated when you copied me, sincere in all your flattery
It had to be that I just couldn't stand to see the sight of me
reflected in your eyes idolizing me it frightened me
Ice cold to family, I saw you as an enemy, certain
situations I'd pretend to be friendly but
I might as well have been deceased or overseas, saw you on occasion
growing up, working busy bee
The deep rooted misery of people simultaneously in
between cultures, we end up being vultures
It's hopeless, that's why I wrote this
always be the oldest, Funny how things come to focus
Not making motions, I'm just trying to let you know,
I didn't mean to leave you out freezing in the snow
I've been through the same icy rain, you're not alone
But I closed the door and didn't even try to walk you home
-From the bus stop outside the pool where we
Used to laugh, cannonball splash just to stay cool
And always in and out of schools,
you slaving making straight a's and I'm just playing the fool
Even on birthdays, I was like a ghoul fading out before you
cut the cake, just a vacent stool
few things that I've regretted since
it's looking like you're doin fine without my influence,
I'm full of bullshit, spit and sin while you played to win
I just stole smokes in the audiorium gym
There's so much of me I want to try and tell you but I can't
not used to speaking truth, I just bury it in sand
Move somewhere else in Maryland to try and to be a man
End up living sloppy, while you formulate a plan
Graduating top class, building up defenses
If you find god and it appeals to your senses
I hope you get the answers, I bypassed the fenced path
Calculating mine when I'm useless at math
It happens that I'm at this point I have to learn to rap
About the lifestyle I've been leading not some agi-trash
With that in mind I'm hoping every line will slide tensions
Utilize the pen to try and mend digressions
And if I've never mentioned this to you remember
I'll always be there if you ever need a mentor,
A place to lay your head down when it downpours
if I have a front door and roof it's all yours
PS: the stress of the real world's a drag
I'm thinking on the old, freeze tag and goodie bags
reeses, kit kats you'd grab the sticker pad
I'd take the candy corn, split the twix in half
Now it's all tax and gas prices, time flies fast and
I'm growing up and hating how my life was
Wishin I'd been nicer, given out advice for
all the things that made you cry instead of trying to fight you
So that's why I write you a song and not an email
phone call, text messaging just lacks the details
I need to justify the reason why you need to know
I didn't mean to leave you out freezing in the snow